| 'Can you give me your (class/product/offer) for | | | | Keys to Opening the Treasury |
| free, or reduced cost? I'm in a tough situation, | | | | One, two, three... |
| and need the help.' | | | | In my spiritual lineage there is a teaching: the first |
| Have you ever had anyone ask you this in your | | | | instinct you have is from God, the second is from |
| business? If you haven't, it's either because you're | | | | your ego, and the third is from the devil. |
| invisible, you've only been in business for five | | | | The trouble is, the first one is usually quiet and |
| minutes, or because you look mean. :-) | | | | quick, unless you're used to listening for it. Next |
| Years ago, when I asked a business mentor | | | | time someone asks you for something, see if you |
| about this, she told me: | | | | can track your three responses. You might need |
| 'These people are free-loaders. I don't even | | | | to track backwards, because you may only be |
| respond to them. They just want to take | | | | aware of the second and third ones. |
| advantage of you.' | | | | Example: "Hey, can I have a free slot in your |
| Then, being newer in business, I thought I should | | | | class?" |
| take that advice on, but it rankled my heart. As | | | | First instinct: ??? (Ran right past the first instinct.) |
| much as I tried, and as many times as I've heard | | | | Second instinct: No way, I'm not giving it away for |
| other people give similar advice, I just can't get | | | | free. (Ego in self-protection.) |
| my heart around it. | | | | Third instinct: Man, why do I always get hit with |
| Are these people really freeloaders? | | | | the freeloaders? Piss off. (The 'devil' in judgement |
| Let me answer that question with a question: | | | | and attack.) |
| have you ever been in a tight situation, and | | | | Taking a moment with your heart may reveal the |
| needed help, and felt like you had nothing to offer | | | | First instinct: Compassion, a desire to help. |
| in return? | | | | What is the First Path? |
| I have. Many times. Many, many times. My old | | | | We run past the first instinct, because it scares |
| way was to just suck it up, and pretend I was | | | | us. We get a sideways glance at 'Compassion and |
| okay, hide my challenges. I've been learning, slowly | | | | a desire to help,' or whatever it was for you, and |
| and painfully over the years, to ask for help. | | | | run past it because we don't know what it means. |
| If someone's asking you for a 'freebie,' I'm going | | | | If you stop, return to your heart, and back up, |
| to make the outrageous guess that they aren't | | | | you can follow the First Instinct down the First |
| trying to freeload or con you. I'm going to assert | | | | Path. |
| instead that they probably feel like they're at the | | | | This means that if you say 'Yes' to your first |
| end of at least one of their ropes, and that they | | | | instinct, you can then ask your heart: What does |
| are feeling some shame or embarrassment. | | | | that look like? It may look like a smile and a |
| I'm betting that it took quite a bit of effort for | | | | website link for the person, as one friend of mine |
| them to reach out and ask you. | | | | did recently for someone who asked (that person |
| What would Jesus do? Or the Buddha? | | | | then apologized and bought my friend's book). Or, |
| Or any of the saints, holy teachers, or good | | | | you may end up giving them a free slot, as I've |
| samaritans? What would any of them do? Do you | | | | done once or twice in the past, and seen that |
| think they would just call someone who asked for | | | | person go on to get amazing results, and sign up |
| help a 'freeloader?' I don't think so. So why should | | | | for my other offers at full price. |
| we? | | | | The example can go the other way. |
| But how do I make a living if I keep giving | | | | I've listed the First Instinct example as: |
| everything away? | | | | Compassion and a desire to help. But, for you it |
| Ahhh... grasshopper. If you notice, Jesus, Buddha, | | | | could easily be the other direction. Maybe your |
| and the saints weren't 'free' boxes- they didn't | | | | ego is always wanting you to give and give and |
| just give whatever someone asked for. They | | | | give... because you are afraid of rejection. So, |
| gave the right thing to the right person in the | | | | maybe your First Instinct is to firmly, |
| right amount. Some people got a smile. Others | | | | compassionately say "No." |
| were resurrected from the dead. | | | | You won't know unless you take the time to ask. |
| Sing this song to someone who asks: "You don't | | | | The real lesson is that we're all here to make life |
| always get what you want.... but, you get what | | | | more wonderful for each other. And, what that |
| you need..." (Feel free to add in air guitar if you | | | | looks like changes from moment to moment. |
| like.) | | | | When someone asks you for help, see if you can |
| When someone asks for free help, don't turn | | | | back up from your second instinct, and find your |
| your back, and don't just hand them the keys to | | | | First Path. |
| the treasury. So, how do you figure out what to | | | | And let me know if you are surprised by the |
| tell someone who asks? | | | | results. |