| 'Can you give me your (class/product/offer) | | | | One, two, three... |
| for free, or reduced cost? I'm in a tough | | | | |
| situation, and need the help.' | | | | In my spiritual lineage there is a teaching: |
| | | | the first instinct you have is from God, the |
| Have you ever had anyone ask you this in your | | | | second is from your ego, and the third is |
| business? If you haven't, it's either because | | | | from the devil. |
| you're invisible, you've only been in | | | | |
| business for five minutes, or because you | | | | The trouble is, the first one is usually |
| look mean. :-) | | | | quiet and quick, unless you're used to |
| | | | listening for it. Next time someone asks you |
| Years ago, when I asked a business mentor | | | | for something, see if you can track your |
| about this, she told me: | | | | three responses. You might need to track |
| | | | backwards, because you may only be aware of |
| 'These people are free-loaders. I don't even | | | | the second and third ones. |
| respond to them. They just want to take | | | | |
| advantage of you.' | | | | Example: "Hey, can I have a free slot in your |
| | | | class?" |
| Then, being newer in business, I thought I | | | | |
| should take that advice on, but it rankled my | | | | First instinct: ??? (Ran right past the first |
| heart. As much as I tried, and as many times | | | | instinct.) |
| as I've heard other people give similar | | | | |
| advice, I just can't get my heart around it. | | | | Second instinct: No way, I'm not giving it |
| | | | away for free. (Ego in self-protection.) |
| Are these people really freeloaders? | | | | |
| | | | Third instinct: Man, why do I always get hit |
| Let me answer that question with a question: | | | | with the freeloaders? Piss off. (The 'devil' |
| have you ever been in a tight situation, and | | | | in judgement and attack.) |
| needed help, and felt like you had nothing to | | | | |
| offer in return? | | | | Taking a moment with your heart may reveal |
| | | | the First instinct: Compassion, a desire to |
| I have. Many times. Many, many times. My old | | | | help. |
| way was to just suck it up, and pretend I was | | | | |
| okay, hide my challenges. I've been learning, | | | | What is the First Path? |
| slowly and painfully over the years, to ask | | | | |
| for help. | | | | We run past the first instinct, because it |
| | | | scares us. We get a sideways glance at |
| If someone's asking you for a 'freebie,' I'm | | | | 'Compassion and a desire to help,' or |
| going to make the outrageous guess that they | | | | whatever it was for you, and run past it |
| aren't trying to freeload or con you. I'm | | | | because we don't know what it means. If you |
| going to assert instead that they probably | | | | stop, return to your heart, and back up, you |
| feel like they're at the end of at least one | | | | can follow the First Instinct down the First |
| of their ropes, and that they are feeling | | | | Path. |
| some shame or embarrassment. | | | | |
| | | | This means that if you say 'Yes' to your |
| I'm betting that it took quite a bit of | | | | first instinct, you can then ask your heart: |
| effort for them to reach out and ask you. | | | | What does that look like? It may look like a |
| | | | smile and a website link for the person, as |
| What would Jesus do? Or the Buddha? | | | | one friend of mine did recently for someone |
| | | | who asked (that person then apologized and |
| Or any of the saints, holy teachers, or good | | | | bought my friend's book). Or, you may end up |
| samaritans? What would any of them do? Do you | | | | giving them a free slot, as I've done once or |
| think they would just call someone who asked | | | | twice in the past, and seen that person go on |
| for help a 'freeloader?' I don't think so. So | | | | to get amazing results, and sign up for my |
| why should we? | | | | other offers at full price. |
| | | | |
| But how do I make a living if I keep giving | | | | The example can go the other way. |
| everything away? | | | | |
| | | | I've listed the First Instinct example as: |
| Ahhh... grasshopper. If you notice, Jesus, | | | | Compassion and a desire to help. But, for you |
| Buddha, and the saints weren't 'free' boxes- | | | | it could easily be the other direction. Maybe |
| they didn't just give whatever someone asked | | | | your ego is always wanting you to give and |
| for. They gave the right thing to the right | | | | give and give... because you are afraid of |
| person in the right amount. Some people got a | | | | rejection. So, maybe your First Instinct is |
| smile. Others were resurrected from the dead. | | | | to firmly, compassionately say "No." |
| | | | |
| Sing this song to someone who asks: "You | | | | You won't know unless you take the time to |
| don't always get what you want.... but, you | | | | ask. |
| get what you need..." (Feel free to add in | | | | |
| air guitar if you like.) | | | | The real lesson is that we're all here to |
| | | | make life more wonderful for each other. And, |
| When someone asks for free help, don't turn | | | | what that looks like changes from moment to |
| your back, and don't just hand them the keys | | | | moment. When someone asks you for help, see |
| to the treasury. So, how do you figure out | | | | if you can back up from your second instinct, |
| what to tell someone who asks? | | | | and find your First Path. |
| | | | |
| Keys to Opening the Treasury | | | | And let me know if you are surprised by the |
| | | | results. |