| According to the Big Bang Theory, this present | | | | room where they saw their husbands at the |
| version of the Universe came into being 15 billion | | | | nurses' station trying to pick up the nurse who |
| years ago. The Earth came into being 5 billion | | | | had three windows open on her computer, one |
| years ago. Chi Chi Rodriguez was born 72 years | | | | monitoring the patients, one to an internet dating |
| ago into a poor Puerto Rican family with 5 | | | | site and one getting real time scores on Suddenly |
| brothers and sisters. His father earned $18 per | | | | the doctor brought the woman back to life. When |
| week doing manual labor and tending cows. When | | | | the husband walked into her room the dead |
| he was 7 years old Chi Chi Rodriguez got a job | | | | woman said, "I see that Chi Chi Rodriguez is losing |
| carrying water on a Puerto Rican sugar plantation. | | | | to Jack Nicklaus in the 18 hole playoff for the U.S. |
| Just based on the nature of Chi Chi Rodriguez the | | | | Senior Open." While she was dead, the woman |
| United States should allow every Mexican into the | | | | saw the computer and the bright white light tunnel |
| United States of America. | | | | to Heaven, the gateway which people for 5 million |
| The United States, Mexico and Canada should all | | | | years have been taking back to Heaven, in |
| become one country. We would have Alberta's oil, | | | | another dimension. |
| which is vastly greater than all of the Middle East | | | | In "I Am the Walrus" the Beatles sang "I am he |
| oil, the great lakes, and Cancun. For that matter | | | | as you are me and we are all together." There |
| we should eliminate all man made countries and | | | | are atoms in your body that were part of every |
| therefore stop wars between nations and stop | | | | living thing in history ever. In the Chinese |
| spending all of our earnings on killing machines. | | | | Confucian Religion there is the idea of humans and |
| "Imagine there's no countries, it's easy if you try." | | | | nature becoming one. In the Buddhist Religion |
| We all love computers because they allow us to | | | | there is the belief that all living things are equal. |
| put our thoughts down on paper and share them | | | | Your white light Holy Spirit is the God living inside |
| with other people all over the world in articles, | | | | of us all regardless of belief. |
| blogs, e-mails, myspace, facebook, comments to | | | | Yesterday President George Bush said that |
| blogs, interactive newspapers allowing comments, | | | | regardless of faith we all pray to the same God. |
| free worldwide video, audio and text instant | | | | Jews, Christians and Muslims all pray to the very |
| messaging, and internet dating sites. In other | | | | same God who carved the 10 commandments in |
| words computers and the internet are the cure | | | | stone at Mount Sinai 3,200 years ago last |
| for loneliness in a society which has suffered the | | | | Wednesday. God of Mount Sinai is also known as |
| breakup of the traditional family structure. | | | | God the Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, |
| Combined with your television and telephone you | | | | Allah, Elohim, Yehovah, Hashem and Adonai. The |
| can lock yourself alone in your room and continue | | | | white light Holy Spirit inside of us all is like gravity; |
| to have an exciting social life indefinitely. We no | | | | it doesn't matter if you believe in it or what you |
| longer need 5 brothers and sisters, our parents | | | | call it or if you know about it, it will still pull you in |
| and grandparents and monopoly boards to | | | | the right direction. Because this Holy Spirit lives in |
| entertain us. | | | | us all on Earth King David said, "You are all Gods, |
| All of the information in the world is in your | | | | you are all children of God." (Psalm 82:6 in the Old |
| keyboard. With soon we will have no need for | | | | Testament, the Holy Scripture of Judaism, |
| doctors. With wikipedia.org soon we will have no | | | | Christianity and Islam. Islam also follows the New |
| need for schools. With real time chat webcam | | | | Testament and the Muslim Messiahs are Jesus |
| video porn sites soon our boyfriends will have no | | | | Christ and the Mahdi). |
| need for us. We will be reduced to spinsters | | | | Unfortunately for human beings we always focus |
| reading our spam. | | | | on our miniscule differences while completely |
| The physical reason that we love computers is | | | | ignoring our vast similaritites, including human DNA, |
| that they require no physical exertion whatsoever. | | | | men, golf and computers. When we die and go |
| We can spend our days typing away and feel as | | | | into the light we are unified with the souls of |
| though we've actually done something. When Chi | | | | everyone else. You are God, (Holy White Light), |
| Chi Rodriguez was 7 he became a caddy. He | | | | you are part of God, you are one of God's |
| made a branch from a guava tree into a golf club, | | | | children. God carved in stone "Don't Murder" |
| and used a coke can for a golf ball. Then he | | | | because when you murder you are murdering |
| taught himself golf by watching the golfers he | | | | God, and the God in the other person sees you |
| caddied for and the next thing he knew he was | | | | doing it. The reason that we love computers is |
| traveling the world imitating Zorro on Shell's | | | | because when we look into the white light of our |
| Wonderful World of Golf with "The King". | | | | monitors we feel like we are back home in the |
| "The King of Kings" became famous because of | | | | tunnel back to Heaven and it makes us feel |
| the invention of books. "The King" became | | | | happy and peaceful like we feel when we die and |
| famous because of the invention of televisions. | | | | leave our bodies and time slows down. We love |
| Paris Hilton became the modern day Aphrodite | | | | being bathed in the white light. |
| because of the invention of personal computers | | | | Meanwhile, back on Earth, what is the meaning of |
| and the internet around the time the Paris the | | | | life? We are here to experience feelings, both of |
| heiress was born into the lap of luxury, the | | | | joy and pain. People love going to the track |
| Century Regional Detention Center. In the old | | | | because they go from the lowest low to the |
| days people read fictional books, magazines and | | | | highest high. People ask "Why do bad things |
| tabloids. Now we know that truth in real time on | | | | happen to good people?" An angel must suffer on |
| is much stranger than fiction. We are all voyeurs | | | | earth in order to learn from her suffering, so that |
| who love to watch the mighty fall from grace. | | | | she can then help others overcome the same |
| Sue us. Charge us $250,000 for sharing 9 songs. | | | | problem. |
| You still will never stop us from using our | | | | We are living in traumatic frightening times with |
| computers. | | | | threats of nuclear world war, global warming, polar |
| Chemistry is an important part of any relationship. | | | | bears and walruses going extinct, only 25 years ol |
| How can you be faithful to one person for your | | | | oil left and economic worries. The number of |
| entire life, which is now double the length of our | | | | major problems beyond our control is sick and |
| ancestors' lives thanks to modern medicine, if you | | | | making us sick. We love computers because |
| are not turned on by that person? It may sound | | | | when we click the computer does as it's told. |
| superficial but there is a part of the human brain | | | | Psychologically, criticism and control make us feel |
| that feels good when it sees a beautiful image | | | | better about ourselves. |
| and cringes when it sees an ugly image. We love | | | | There is no greater feeling than helping others. |
| computers because websites are filled with | | | | We love computers and golf because they allow |
| beautiful images and colors and pictures and these | | | | us to try to help others. Into the light, let us |
| make us feel good. It is a known fact that suicide | | | | approach, do not shut us out, for we have sinned, |
| rates are double in homes with no computers. So | | | | O Glorious God of Mount Sinai, Buddha, Krishna, |
| what if I just made that up, sue me. | | | | Chinese God, all names of God. Or as Chi Chi |
| Here comes the spiritual reason that we love | | | | Rodriguez prayed during his 30 wins, "Into the |
| computers. Numerous people have experienced | | | | cup, let me approach, do not lip me out, for I |
| near death experiences. These people have | | | | have sinned, O Glorious God." There is nothing like |
| medically died. While they were dead the white | | | | the feeling of a well struck five iron soaring into |
| light Holy Spirit living in their body left their body. | | | | the mountains of Palm Springs California. Just ask |
| In some cases their hospital rooms were drywall | | | | Morgan Pressel. Computers are like dogs. Their |
| up to the first 8 feet and then glass for the top 2 | | | | love and light is unconditional. |
| feet. Their spirits floated up to the top of the | | | | |