| According to the Big Bang Theory, this | | | | then glass for the top 2 feet. Their spirits |
| present version of the Universe came into | | | | floated up to the top of the room where they |
| being 15 billion years ago. The Earth came | | | | saw their husbands at the nurses' station |
| into being 5 billion years ago. Chi Chi | | | | trying to pick up the nurse who had three |
| Rodriguez was born 72 years ago into a poor | | | | windows open on her computer, one monitoring |
| Puerto Rican family with 5 brothers and | | | | the patients, one to an internet dating site |
| sisters. His father earned $18 per week doing | | | | and one getting real time scores on Suddenly |
| manual labor and tending cows. When he was 7 | | | | the doctor brought the woman back to life. |
| years old Chi Chi Rodriguez got a job | | | | When the husband walked into her room the |
| carrying water on a Puerto Rican sugar | | | | dead woman said, "I see that Chi Chi |
| plantation. Just based on the nature of Chi | | | | Rodriguez is losing to Jack Nicklaus in the |
| Chi Rodriguez the United States should allow | | | | 18 hole playoff for the U.S. Senior Open." |
| every Mexican into the United States of | | | | While she was dead, the woman saw the |
| America. | | | | computer and the bright white light tunnel to |
| | | | Heaven, the gateway which people for 5 |
| The United States, Mexico and Canada should | | | | million years have been taking back to |
| all become one country. We would have | | | | Heaven, in another dimension. |
| Alberta's oil, which is vastly greater than | | | | |
| all of the Middle East oil, the great lakes, | | | | In "I Am the Walrus" the Beatles sang "I am |
| and Cancun. For that matter we should | | | | he as you are me and we are all together." |
| eliminate all man made countries and | | | | There are atoms in your body that were part |
| therefore stop wars between nations and stop | | | | of every living thing in history ever. In the |
| spending all of our earnings on killing | | | | Chinese Confucian Religion there is the idea |
| machines. "Imagine there's no countries, it's | | | | of humans and nature becoming one. In the |
| easy if you try." | | | | Buddhist Religion there is the belief that |
| | | | all living things are equal. Your white light |
| We all love computers because they allow us | | | | Holy Spirit is the God living inside of us |
| to put our thoughts down on paper and share | | | | all regardless of belief. |
| them with other people all over the world in | | | | |
| articles, blogs, e-mails, myspace, facebook, | | | | Yesterday President George Bush said that |
| comments to blogs, interactive newspapers | | | | regardless of faith we all pray to the same |
| allowing comments, free worldwide video, | | | | God. Jews, Christians and Muslims all pray to |
| audio and text instant messaging, and | | | | the very same God who carved the 10 |
| internet dating sites. In other words | | | | commandments in stone at Mount Sinai 3,200 |
| computers and the internet are the cure for | | | | years ago last Wednesday. God of Mount Sinai |
| loneliness in a society which has suffered | | | | is also known as God the Father, Jesus |
| the breakup of the traditional family | | | | Christ, The Holy Spirit, Allah, Elohim, |
| structure. Combined with your television and | | | | Yehovah, Hashem and Adonai. The white light |
| telephone you can lock yourself alone in your | | | | Holy Spirit inside of us all is like gravity; |
| room and continue to have an exciting social | | | | it doesn't matter if you believe in it or |
| life indefinitely. We no longer need 5 | | | | what you call it or if you know about it, it |
| brothers and sisters, our parents and | | | | will still pull you in the right direction. |
| grandparents and monopoly boards to entertain | | | | Because this Holy Spirit lives in us all on |
| us. | | | | Earth King David said, "You are all Gods, you |
| | | | are all children of God." (Psalm 82:6 in the |
| All of the information in the world is in | | | | Old Testament, the Holy Scripture of Judaism, |
| your keyboard. With soon we will have no need | | | | Christianity and Islam. Islam also follows |
| for doctors. With wikipedia.org soon we will | | | | the New Testament and the Muslim Messiahs are |
| have no need for schools. With real time chat | | | | Jesus Christ and the Mahdi). |
| webcam video porn sites soon our boyfriends | | | | |
| will have no need for us. We will be reduced | | | | Unfortunately for human beings we always |
| to spinsters reading our spam. | | | | focus on our miniscule differences while |
| | | | completely ignoring our vast similaritites, |
| The physical reason that we love computers is | | | | including human DNA, men, golf and computers. |
| that they require no physical exertion | | | | When we die and go into the light we are |
| whatsoever. We can spend our days typing away | | | | unified with the souls of everyone else. You |
| and feel as though we've actually done | | | | are God, (Holy White Light), you are part of |
| something. When Chi Chi Rodriguez was 7 he | | | | God, you are one of God's children. God |
| became a caddy. He made a branch from a guava | | | | carved in stone "Don't Murder" because when |
| tree into a golf club, and used a coke can | | | | you murder you are murdering God, and the God |
| for a golf ball. Then he taught himself golf | | | | in the other person sees you doing it. The |
| by watching the golfers he caddied for and | | | | reason that we love computers is because when |
| the next thing he knew he was traveling the | | | | we look into the white light of our monitors |
| world imitating Zorro on Shell's Wonderful | | | | we feel like we are back home in the tunnel |
| World of Golf with "The King". | | | | back to Heaven and it makes us feel happy and |
| | | | peaceful like we feel when we die and leave |
| "The King of Kings" became famous because of | | | | our bodies and time slows down. We love being |
| the invention of books. "The King" became | | | | bathed in the white light. |
| famous because of the invention of | | | | |
| televisions. Paris Hilton became the modern | | | | Meanwhile, back on Earth, what is the meaning |
| day Aphrodite because of the invention of | | | | of life? We are here to experience feelings, |
| personal computers and the internet around | | | | both of joy and pain. People love going to |
| the time the Paris the heiress was born into | | | | the track because they go from the lowest low |
| the lap of luxury, the Century Regional | | | | to the highest high. People ask "Why do bad |
| Detention Center. In the old days people read | | | | things happen to good people?" An angel must |
| fictional books, magazines and tabloids. Now | | | | suffer on earth in order to learn from her |
| we know that truth in real time on is much | | | | suffering, so that she can then help others |
| stranger than fiction. We are all voyeurs who | | | | overcome the same problem. |
| love to watch the mighty fall from grace. Sue | | | | |
| us. Charge us $250,000 for sharing 9 songs. | | | | We are living in traumatic frightening times |
| You still will never stop us from using our | | | | with threats of nuclear world war, global |
| computers. | | | | warming, polar bears and walruses going |
| | | | extinct, only 25 years ol oil left and |
| Chemistry is an important part of any | | | | economic worries. The number of major |
| relationship. How can you be faithful to one | | | | problems beyond our control is sick and |
| person for your entire life, which is now | | | | making us sick. We love computers because |
| double the length of our ancestors' lives | | | | when we click the computer does as it's told. |
| thanks to modern medicine, if you are not | | | | Psychologically, criticism and control make |
| turned on by that person? It may sound | | | | us feel better about ourselves. |
| superficial but there is a part of the human | | | | |
| brain that feels good when it sees a | | | | There is no greater feeling than helping |
| beautiful image and cringes when it sees an | | | | others. We love computers and golf because |
| ugly image. We love computers because | | | | they allow us to try to help others. Into the |
| websites are filled with beautiful images and | | | | light, let us approach, do not shut us out, |
| colors and pictures and these make us feel | | | | for we have sinned, O Glorious God of Mount |
| good. It is a known fact that suicide rates | | | | Sinai, Buddha, Krishna, Chinese God, all |
| are double in homes with no computers. So | | | | names of God. Or as Chi Chi Rodriguez prayed |
| what if I just made that up, sue me. | | | | during his 30 wins, "Into the cup, let me |
| | | | approach, do not lip me out, for I have |
| Here comes the spiritual reason that we love | | | | sinned, O Glorious God." There is nothing |
| computers. Numerous people have experienced | | | | like the feeling of a well struck five iron |
| near death experiences. These people have | | | | soaring into the mountains of Palm Springs |
| medically died. While they were dead the | | | | California. Just ask Morgan Pressel. |
| white light Holy Spirit living in their body | | | | Computers are like dogs. Their love and light |
| left their body. In some cases their hospital | | | | is unconditional. |
| rooms were drywall up to the first 8 feet and | | | | |