| Obsession implies possession. We want it without | | | | that most of us can only aspire to obtain. |
| regard for the consequences to us or anyone | | | | A lover accepts that he can never know what is |
| else. When love becomes an obsession it | | | | best for his beloved and turns to contemplation. A |
| becomes pathological and a destroyer of the | | | | lifetime study of his beloved, it is so little time to |
| lover and his or her beloved. Love is without | | | | learn. What is it that she desires? What is it that I |
| ownership. It is an end in itself practiced always | | | | must do to be ready to fulfill those desires? |
| and only in behalf of the other. | | | | Longing that he will see, contemplation is the |
| Outside of a few rare circumstances: a parents' | | | | lover's prayer that he can find the way to make |
| effort for a young child, or an effort to assist in | | | | her dream a reality. |
| relieving pain, illness or an addiction where | | | | There are a number of other things a novice at |
| suffering has left no capacity too act. It is | | | | love should know about how love works. They |
| impossible to know what is best for the other. | | | | can be stated as a set of rules or helpful |
| A lover obsessed pretends to know what is best | | | | guidelines for those who dare to accept the |
| for his beloved only to serve his or her own | | | | challenge of learning about love. Behind each rule |
| interests. His proclamations to the contrary are | | | | exists several thousand years of human |
| folly and insincere. A beginning lover should cast | | | | experience with love captured in music, art, |
| obsession out as shameful weakness. | | | | literature and sometimes modeled in noble men |
| To practice love is to contemplate the needs and | | | | and women. Because love is the most profound |
| desires of the beloved; to study and watch, | | | | and desirable of human experiences it would |
| gently anticipating and offering. Over time and | | | | serve each of us to search out the rules and |
| with great effort a lover may come to know | | | | then study the experience and wisdom behind |
| something of what will make his beloved more | | | | them. It is a fundamental of love that we can |
| perfectly herself. But, this is very advance study | | | | only be better for having dared to explore and |
| and requires intelligence, patience and a maturity | | | | understand the power of love. |