| The other day I was late for something. Not very | | | | force. But, before she could ruin my day, I was |
| late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry | | | | able to ward her off by pulling out the Buddha in |
| voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! | | | | My Back Pocket. It felt a bit like Luke Skywalker |
| There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if | | | | yielding a light saber against Darth Vader. "Luke, |
| you were more organized!" It was a terrible | | | | use the force!" |
| feeling, especially because the voice was partially | | | | I let the powerful voice of the Buddha in My Back |
| right. | | | | Pocket counter the accusations of the Shrew. He |
| Who was this voice yelling at me? It was my | | | | asked, "What were your reasons for making the |
| nemesis - the Shrew who lives in my head. | | | | choices you did this morning?" and "Would you |
| We all get annoyed at ourselves from time to | | | | make these same choices again?" Then he |
| time; it is only natural. But for some of us, it can | | | | reminded me of two universal truths: "You are |
| become an unrelenting bother. There can be no | | | | doing the best you can" and "Growth involves |
| contentment when the Shrew is on the scene! | | | | observing one's actions and then learning from |
| Some call it a gremlin, others an inner critic, others | | | | them." Under this influence of love and a genuine |
| negative self-talk. I call her the Shrew. No matter | | | | intention to seek understanding, I was able to |
| what you call yours, you know who I mean. She's | | | | temporarily silence the Shrew, objectively analyze |
| fierce, she's damning and she's quick to pounce on | | | | my "lateness" and gain valuable personal insight. |
| every mistake you make, turning them into | | | | Within a few minutes, I felt relieved, re-engaged in |
| capital offenses. The Shrew exaggerates our | | | | life and able to peacefully continue with the rest |
| flaws, smashes our self-esteem, ruins our | | | | of my day. |
| confidence, distracts us from what we are doing | | | | Unfortunately, we can't eradicate the Shrew |
| and makes us miserable. | | | | completely. But we can learn to access this |
| I am choosing not to live with it anymore! I invite | | | | equalizing force: the pursuit of empathetic |
| you to do the same. There is a force which can | | | | understanding - a loving friend that takes your |
| tame the Shrew: The Buddha in Your Back | | | | side and helps you learn about yourself in a safe |
| Pocket*. | | | | and protected way. The Buddha in your Back |
| Think of a time when you witnessed a stranger | | | | Pocket is always with you to calm your mind, |
| being scolded and felt badly for them. Perhaps it | | | | forgive your errs, and remind you of the growth |
| was a worker being accused by an angry boss of | | | | in your life. As you cultivate your relationship with |
| "screwing things up" for something you knew | | | | the Buddha in your Back Pocket, you will |
| wasn't their fault. Did you wish you could go up to | | | | experience more self-love, confidence and peace. |
| that worker and say, "Don't pay any attention to | | | | Life is too short to spend time unnecessarily |
| them. I saw what happened and I know you are | | | | berating ourselves with critical self-talk! Go forth |
| a doing a good job!" | | | | into your day and bring the Buddha in Your Back |
| This softer side of you is the anti-Shrew. It is | | | | Pocket with you. You never know when you |
| empathy and compassion. The Shrew is afraid of | | | | might need it! |
| it because she fears you might offer it to | | | | *I do not wish to offend anyone by using the title |
| yourself. It is a skill to learn to apply this loving, | | | | Buddha. I have the utmost respect for the |
| tender, supportive side of ourselves to ourselves. | | | | Buddhist tradition. In this article, I refer to Buddha |
| Many of us, me included, are not in the habit of it. | | | | as a representation of an enlightened teacher |
| The morning I was late, Ms. Shrew was in full | | | | offering guidance to those who chose to listen. |