| The other day I was late for something. Not | | | | |
| very late. In fact, I was actually on time | | | | The morning I was late, Ms. Shrew was in full |
| but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, | | | | force. But, before she could ruin my day, I |
| "You are late! There will be no seats left. | | | | was able to ward her off by pulling out the |
| You wouldn't run late if you were more | | | | Buddha in My Back Pocket. It felt a bit like |
| organized!" It was a terrible feeling, | | | | Luke Skywalker yielding a light saber against |
| especially because the voice was partially | | | | Darth Vader. "Luke, use the force!" |
| right. | | | | |
| | | | I let the powerful voice of the Buddha in My |
| Who was this voice yelling at me? It was my | | | | Back Pocket counter the accusations of the |
| nemesis - the Shrew who lives in my head. | | | | Shrew. He asked, "What were your reasons for |
| | | | making the choices you did this morning?" and |
| We all get annoyed at ourselves from time to | | | | "Would you make these same choices again?" |
| time; it is only natural. But for some of us, | | | | Then he reminded me of two universal truths: |
| it can become an unrelenting bother. There | | | | "You are doing the best you can" and "Growth |
| can be no contentment when the Shrew is on | | | | involves observing one's actions and then |
| the scene! | | | | learning from them." Under this influence of |
| | | | love and a genuine intention to seek |
| Some call it a gremlin, others an inner | | | | understanding, I was able to temporarily |
| critic, others negative self-talk. I call her | | | | silence the Shrew, objectively analyze my |
| the Shrew. No matter what you call yours, you | | | | "lateness" and gain valuable personal |
| know who I mean. She's fierce, she's damning | | | | insight. Within a few minutes, I felt |
| and she's quick to pounce on every mistake | | | | relieved, re-engaged in life and able to |
| you make, turning them into capital offenses. | | | | peacefully continue with the rest of my day. |
| The Shrew exaggerates our flaws, smashes our | | | | |
| self-esteem, ruins our confidence, distracts | | | | Unfortunately, we can't eradicate the Shrew |
| us from what we are doing and makes us | | | | completely. But we can learn to access this |
| miserable. | | | | equalizing force: the pursuit of empathetic |
| | | | understanding - a loving friend that takes |
| I am choosing not to live with it anymore! I | | | | your side and helps you learn about yourself |
| invite you to do the same. There is a force | | | | in a safe and protected way. The Buddha in |
| which can tame the Shrew: The Buddha in Your | | | | your Back Pocket is always with you to calm |
| Back Pocket*. | | | | your mind, forgive your errs, and remind you |
| | | | of the growth in your life. As you cultivate |
| Think of a time when you witnessed a stranger | | | | your relationship with the Buddha in your |
| being scolded and felt badly for them. | | | | Back Pocket, you will experience more |
| Perhaps it was a worker being accused by an | | | | self-love, confidence and peace. |
| angry boss of "screwing things up" for | | | | |
| something you knew wasn't their fault. Did | | | | Life is too short to spend time unnecessarily |
| you wish you could go up to that worker and | | | | berating ourselves with critical self-talk! |
| say, "Don't pay any attention to them. I saw | | | | Go forth into your day and bring the Buddha |
| what happened and I know you are a doing a | | | | in Your Back Pocket with you. You never know |
| good job!" | | | | when you might need it! |
| | | | |
| This softer side of you is the anti-Shrew. It | | | | *I do not wish to offend anyone by using the |
| is empathy and compassion. The Shrew is | | | | title Buddha. I have the utmost respect for |
| afraid of it because she fears you might | | | | the Buddhist tradition. In this article, I |
| offer it to yourself. It is a skill to learn | | | | refer to Buddha as a representation of an |
| to apply this loving, tender, supportive side | | | | enlightened teacher offering guidance to |
| of ourselves to ourselves. Many of us, me | | | | those who chose to listen. |
| included, are not in the habit of it. | | | | |